Watch out for those maids-a-milking

Friday December 30th, 2011

Comedians have made fun of the hazards faced by recipients of the gifts in the partridge in a pear tree - and now British analysts have revealed the real-life toll involved in activities such as milking cows.

What could be hazardous about a partridge in a pear tree? Climbing up to get it, according to the NHS Information Centre, which recorded some 1,200 tree falling accidents in the year from 2010-11.

Its analysts even found a hazard faced by 12 drummers drumming - but also benefits from the mid-winter exertion.

Some 11,331 admissions were due to overexertion and strenuous or repetitive movements. But all that drumming could help work up a sweat, thus avoiding an admission for exposure to excessive natural cold; of which there were 981.

The 11 pipers piping proved less dangerous. There were just four admissions due to noise exposure and seven due to vibration.

And the ten lords a-leaping might have faced problems, according to Information Centre statistics. There were 5,651 admissions that resulted from being struck against or bumped into by another person.

In the age of Strictly Come Dancing, no figures were available for dancing accidents which might have befallen the "nine ladies dancing". But if they used skates, there were 4,193 admissions resulting from falls involving ice-skates, skis, roller-skates or skateboards.

Eight maids-a-milking could be expected to face typical farming hazards. A total of 164 admissions resulted from contact with agricultural machinery, while 2,540 were caused by being bitten or struck by a mammal - other than a dog or rat.

The centre could provide no evidence of injuries from exposure to swimming swans - seven are mentioned in the song - but it urged the public to beware of emulating aquatic diving birds. There were 228 admissions resulted from injuries caused by diving or jumping into water.

And while healthy eating programmes tend to encourage home-cooked food, the prospect of egg-laying geese - six in the song - made the centre's analysts mindful of the hazards of the kitchen. Hospitals recorded 782 admissions as a result of contact with hot household appliances, while there were 1,914 admissions were caused by contact with hot drinks.

Similarly, victims of gold rings are sometimes rescued by fire crews rather than ambulance. But the number five is unlucky for lovers of snowy mountains, the centre said. There were five emergency admissions for victims of avalanche as well as five gold rings in the song.

The centre's analysis continues with examples of injuries distantly related to the traditional gifts of four colly birds, three French hens and two turtle doves.

These involve:
6,005 admissions from being bitten or struck by a dog;
4,375 admissions due to injury from a non-powered hand tool;
14,343 admissions caused by falls on ice and snow during last year's wintry weather.

The figures come from the Hospital Episode Statistics for England, published in November.

Tags: A&E | General Health | NHS | UK News

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